Job

After long years of hard work, sleepless nights, endless school works, never tiring gala with friends, meeting one of your terror professor, having an anxiety or what so ever. Then it all ends. YOU GRADUATED! You thought... Yes! I'm all done with all this stuff and drama in college! But it's not.

Before college was so hard for every students and we want to just get away with it. But were all wrong. After you graduated you're own your own. Hello career world! Welcome to the world of unemployment stage and kamusta taxes to you!

Finding a job wasn't so easy. It takes a lot of courage, confidence and you have to show what you really got. But, how can you do all that if that's not your forte. Like me, I wasn't born confident enough to face other people without feeling insecure. Maybe I got low self-esteem or I was just really shy. Or maybe I always think I wasn't good enough in everything I've done.

Thankfully, I wasn't like the other students that was really focus on their studies. I was the kind of student that sometimes I take shits seriously sometimes I ain't. I go to parties, After class gala with friends, drinking session with my berks, having sleep over to one's block mates house when needed or plan. I experienced all that stuff. I have good grades most of the time to passed the subjects. Get some 3.00 or 5.00 in some subjects but I got to manage it to get high enough to qualify. 

You thought COLLEGE IS SO HARD I SHOULD KILL MYSELF! You're wrong. Wait till you graduate. 

In life, as long as you breathe the learning never ends. Even you finish your schooling you still learn things to grow you as a better person.

Now...I'm currently 3 months 2 weeks unemployed hence, finding a job that really suits my passion. And I hope I can find it by God's will. Because I know that He never fail to surprise us and He is the only one who knows the future. Just trust in Him and we'll not be perish but have an eternal life.

So to my fellow job seekers, good luck to us! May the odds be in our favor! :)

When all your late night thoughts and hardwork pays off

How to start these awesome and heart warming post? 4 years of labor and so much hard work really pays off. I can't explain my happiness in one word! Thank you Lord for guiding me always. You never let me go to wrong places. Muntik lang but I know my lesson.

See that? Sarap sa feeling ng nasa iyo na ang diploma mo <3 p="">

Before the commencement exercise. Nagkaroon pa muna kami nang Baccalaurate mass at Manila Cathedral Church at Intramuros. Not so much happenings pero after that got the chance to have pictures with my friends. And also, that day was the arrival of my parents and little brother here in the Philippines. My sister and his boyfriend fetch them at NAIA 1 then went to me where I was. As usual, all time bati to me was "Mas lalo ka ata tumataba" hayyy. 

APRIL 23, 2016

Hinding hindi ko makakalimutan yang date na yan. Muntik pa hindi mangyare to dahil sa cebu pero hindi nangyare pa din. Glory to God for that awesome news! 

Duterte was our speaker of the night.

Got mah bestfriend on me! hihihihi Thank you Lord dahil kahit ang dami kong naipon na friends sa 4 na taon na yun pakonti sila nang pakonti pero ganun naman ata talaga di ba? May nabasa nga ako na "When you don't lose some friends, you never grow up" Ganun ata talaga no. Naiinggit nga ako sa mga may solid na friends. Yung talagang solid na solid. Di ako nagkaroon nun. :( Even in high school. Pero at least, meron akong kaibigan na kaya ako ipagtanggol sa lahat.

Di ko na natapos yung program sa school kasi may balak pa kami na pumunta sa Mckinley Hills, Taguig para icelebrate ang graduation ko :) All in all, I still got my diploma! :)

The reason...

Last time I posted about our second anniversary and I was so happy. And everyone thought na happy ending na naman. Akala ko din. Pero tama nga ang quotation na "People change. Memories don't" Lahat ng tao nagbabago. Physically, Emotional, o kahit ano pa yan.

Dumating kami sa point na nagsasakitan na kami pero dahil mahal ko pinapatawad ko pa din siya. Ganun ata talaga pag nagmahal ka. Magpapakatanga ka. Away-bati hanggang sa sabihin ang katagang "Ayoko na. Maghiwalay na lang tayo." Aaminin ko di ko fully meant yung sinabi ko na yun via text. Siguro nung time na yun sobrang nasasaktan na ako at inaamin na sa sarili ang gaga ko na talaga. Akala ko hindi siya papayag kasi syempre kahit naman ganun yun mahal ako nun kaya nya nga ako niligawan di ba? Pero pumayag siya "Talaga! Magbreak na tayo! Ayoko na sayo! Sawa na ako sayo!" dami pa niyang sinabi na negative. Iyak lang ako ng iyak. Siguro siya sobrang saya niya nun kasi malaya na siya.

Dumating pa nga ako sa point na hinahabol ko siya just to save our relationship. Ganun ata talaga pag inakala mo na siya na ang "The one" mo. pero napagod din ako maghabol. I started to moved on and live my life forward pero isang araw nagchat siya. "Miss na daw niya ako" hanggang sa gusto niyang mangyare na KAMI PERO HINDI KAMI. Ayun yung kilos nyo parang may relasyon pero walang label. Syempre umandar na naman pagiging tanga ko pumayag ako. Pero di rin nagtagal yun. Nakapag vacation pa nga kami sa Quezon Province eh nang ganun ang estado ng relasyon namin. He even invited me to his family vacation since close ko naman ang family niya. And they don't know the real status of our relationship. Alam kong mali pero ganun ata talaga "masarap ang bawal" hanggang nung sa pag-uwi kami galing QP tinanong ko siya kung ano ba kami? Ang sagot niya "Mahal kita pero gusto ko muna maramdaman maging binata ulit. Yung walang magbabawal sa akin. Yung walang iniisip..." dami pa niyang sinabi pero ang sagot ko sa kanya "Masaya ako kasi nakakapagdecide ka na ng ganyan" I even said to him na I will wait for him to come back to me. I said to him "Iloveyou" pero sa sagot niya doon ako natauhan. "THANK YOU" ang sagot niya.

And ayun nasuntok ako ng katotohanan...na even you wait for him to do his stuff, you'll never be good enough for him because he doesn't really want you and love you. Ayaw ka lang niya pakawalan pero di ka na niya gusto bilang girlfriend niya. Doon ko na nadecide na fully mag move on na.

Tinitignan ko pa din minsan profile niya. I didn't unfriend him or anything. Sa instagram lang. Pero di na yung tipong pag may makita kang di kanais nais iiyak ka. Ayun siguro ang tinatawag na acceptance. :) Ngayon masaya ako dahil nakabangon ako. ganun naman talaga di ba dapat kapag nadapa...masasaktan ka pero kailangan mo tumayo at tanggapin. Ganun na ako ngayon. :) I just lived my life in right way. 

I know there's no proper closure to our relationship. Kung tatanungin nyo ko kung napatawad ko na ba siya...siguro ang sagot ko sa inyo at palagi kong sagot sa inyo "dadating din tayo diyan"

And I'm happy for him. To his new relationship and I hope ayun na talaga ang right one for him.

Now...I'm 1 year and a half na single. May nanligaw pero di pumasa. Di naman ako nagmamadali eh. That's one of the lesson I've learned in this relationship. Wala sa tagal yan. Nasa nararamdaman nyo yan sa isa't-isa.



JUNE 21, 2016
He chat me on messenger. Just random chat "Hi pi. Kamusta?" then as the chat went on...Lagi niya iniinsist yung nakaraan namin. Ibang iba daw ako sa gf niya, Konting away lang daw nakikipag break na yung girl, blah blah... I don't know kung anong gusto niya sakin. Kung bat nagparamdam pa siya. Does he want me back? Does he want me to feel miserable again? Gusto niya ba ipamukha na masaya buhay niya knowing na i'm still single. Kung ano man yan... IDGAF! Get his actions straight! Actions still speaks louder than words.